Where have I gone?

If there are people wondering where I have gone to, I've moved my blog to www.songofjoy.ca. See you there!

Tribute to my husband

It was one year ago today that Leighton Tebay and I were married. It has been a wonderful year. I knew that life with Leighton would be good, but I could not have imagined how good it would be. Leighton is a gentle, caring, loving man. He is affectionate (which I absolutely love!). He never tires of giving me hugs and telling me he loves me. We haven't really grown out of the infatuation stage with all those warm, fuzzy feelings (and I hope we don't ever grow out of it).

He loves teasing me which is good, because it never lets me take myself or life too seriously. He is great father and has brought all those behaviors valued by males but not understood by females to our two boys (fart tag, anyone?). Too much feminine influence has made them into sissies (much to my dismay - I was a tomboy growing up).

Leighton understands me and even when I don't say things, he can usually figure out what's going on. He realized very early on that 'acts of service' are one of my main love languages. I tend to see myself as responsible for everything by default, but he doesn't take advantage of that, and does whatever he can instead of leaving me to automatically do it. He is extremely supportive and encourages me to dream. He is honest and pushes me to grow and become better than I am. God has used him to teach me much about grace.

There are so many things that make being married to Leighton absolutely wonderful. I am so happy and thankful that I can be his wife. Leighton, you're my number one man!

Changing blogs

I now have my very own website: www.songofjoy.ca. So I'm going to be shutting this blog down and posting my thoughts over there (all my previous posts have been transferred). So if any of you have linked to me, please change it to www.songofjoy.ca. I'm looking forward to seeing you there!

A very interesting article

I'm in the midst of reading a very interesting article about the charismatic movement and reactions to it. I always enjoy history and it's been very enlightening to read where some of the concepts and terms I've heard used in church circles actually originated from. I'm realizing there are a lot of things I've heard that I assumed were the common interpretations for some biblical concepts or passages, when in reality they might not have been.

Grace is a choice

Maybe I should clarify: receiving grace is a choice. My husband and I were talking about grace last night. I'm feeling frustrated because I can't seem to 'get it'. I still find myself trying to earn my worth and live up to perceived expectations. Sometimes when it comes right down to it, and you know the truth in your head (that God's love and acceptance have no conditions), you just have to CHOOSE to accept the truth and respond based on what you know, not on how you feel.

It's the same with worship. Worship is a choice. I don't worship God only when I'm feeling 'in the mood' to worship. I choose to worship, whether I'm feeling joyful or miserable. And the more I make that choice, especially when I don't 'feel' like worshipping, the easier it becomes to do just that - worship despite my circumstances.

I suspect grace is probably the same way. The more I choose to accept grace and not what I'm feeling, the easier it will become to accept it regardless of what I've done or not done. I'll have to try it out and see.

Sometimes I forget...

"Remember who you are. You are my son and the one true king. Remember... " - The Lion King

So many things define who we are. I am a mother, a catering consultant, a wife, an employee, a daughter, a friend. I am part of a family, a company, a church, another church. Each week, I get kids up for school, drive them to school, go to work, put in 8 1/2 hours, pick kids up, make supper, workout on my treadmill.

Amid the hustle and bustle I so often forget who I am, what ultimately defines me. I am a daughter of the one true King. Why should I fear? Why should I worry? Why do I strive?

Do I remember where I have come from? "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy." 1 Peter 2:9-10

Sometimes I think I forget so much... and remember so little.

(Disclaimer: although I do the things I mentioned at the top concerning my kids & home each week, I don't do them every day; my husband & I share the responsibilities - he's awesome!)

Learning about grace

I'm finding understanding GRACE to be a process for me. For whatever reason, there's areas of my heart that are resistant to this message. Sometimes something will happen and it will seem like a drop of understanding will seep through a crack deeper into my heart, but then the crack will snap shut again so more understanding is blocked from pouring through. But, as my husband said, I'm getting more and more 'cracks' all the time.

One of my internal 'roadblocks' is the sense that I should have to suffer for my wrong choices, wrong actions. If I feel that I have done something wrong (particularly when I have wronged the people I'm closest to), I have an internal sense that I should have to suffer for what I've done, even if the other person has forgiven me. It doesn't seem fair that I should 'get away with it'. I set about to 'punish myself' (if no one else will).

Grace was extended to me today and I caught a glimpse of how precious God's love and grace are. The thought occurred to me: when I understand that I cannot 'earn' God's love, I will understand more deeply how precious His love really is. When I think that I can 'earn' love and acceptance from God, it cheapens His love. It devalues God's love to a level where it can be 'bought'. But it's far greater than that!